The tale of Hexagonal Jack - and so it begins

The Tale of Hexagonal Jack

This is the tale of Hexagonal Jack
He went to sea and he never came back
He sailed to the rim of the world and back
With the crew of the ‘Fishermans Pi’

Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
He went to sea but he never came back
Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
And the curse of the Fishermans Pi

So pull away my hearty lads
For Bervie’s dry and its closed
But a passage lies before us
To kebab shops in Montrose

And sure and true, a moonlit path
Beckons them out ahead
And the Fishermans Pi slips port and flies
With beer in the sails and kebabs ahead

Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
He went to sea but he never came back
Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
And the curse of the Fishermans Pi

So hoist the tops’l, Haul the yard
Shah’s Palace calls us home
Our path is lit
But our driver’s shit
The saints only know where were goin’
But Hexagonal Jack and the Fishermans Pi
Will blunt the sharpest of seas
For a large kebab with salad and sauce
And a portion of mushy peas

With Unidirectional Mike at the helm
Their path was straight and it was true
But the shining paths curved and Pi never swerved
…Glances exchanged by the crew

Six days and six nights alone at the prow
Was the watch of Hexagonal Jack
Farmer Suticle helped
With the timely provision
Of magical herbs from his sack

Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
He went to sea but he never came back
Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
And the curse of the Fishermans Pi

A tattered sail looms from the mist
Bad Penny cries ‘Avast !’
A blood stained deck of warrior maids
Fair and grim to the last

And the wind fell dead and the seas lay slick
And the crew of the Fisherman’s Pi
Sent Totally Frank and Infectious Dick
To Parlay, to trade or to die

Six hours they passed and the only sounds
To be heard were the birds and the shades
And the grunts of old Infectious Dick
As he made sweet love with the maids

Ive got us smokes Ive got us food
But those warrior maidens were mad
Wed better get going while the going is good
And before the itching gets bad

So hoist the tops’l, Haul the yard
Shah’s Palace calls us home
Our path is lit
But our driver’s shit
And the saints only know where were goin’
Hexagonal Jack and the Fishermans Pi
Will blunt the sharpest seas
For a large kebab with salad and sauce
And a portion of mushy peas

Inflated Bill stood before the crew
Having studied the ice bergs and frost
‘I know what you think and I know what is true’
And the truth is we are lost

‘I see it now’ roared Hexagonal Jack
In his eyes a hexagonal glow
We must summon to us Deep Walter
From the murky tangle below

Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
He went to sea but he never came back
Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
And the curse of the Fishermans Pi

The tallow dripped and the poultry bled
On the deck of the Fishermans Pi
Deep Walter emerged from the briny depths
With a truly terrible cry

‘Who breaks my sleep to seek my aid ?’
For one amongst you must die
I demand the soul of Weatherproof Mac
To save the Fishermans Pi

Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
He went to sea but he never came back
Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
And the curse of the Fishermans Pi

So the sails of the Fishermans Pi were filled
With Deep Walters terrible roar
But Weatherproof Mack had slipped overboard
And was rowing like fuck for the shore

Deep Walter towered above them all
‘For this you will all surely pay
I curse this crew to sail the seas
Til the dusk on Judgement day’

So hoist the tops’l, Haul the yard
Deep Walter binds us roam
These terrible seas for eternity
Til the Saints can call us home
Hexagonal Jack and the Fishermans Pi
Will carve the endless seas
Til the end of time’s upon us
And we feel the angels breeze

Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
He went to sea but he never came back
Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
And the curse of the Fishermans Pi