How long??????

Erm, apparently we totally forgot we had a blog. God, we're all so damn professional.

So recently, the guys were discussing blogs, and we eventually remembered that we already had one, which led to me wasting an entire morning looking for said blog then arguing loudly with google about signing in on extremely old and now defunct email account. Anyway, having gone round in circles for a while with varying amounts of profanities, I've emerged victorious; so we're blowing the cobwebs off it and hoping to get regular blog posts going. Again.

Looking at the dates on the original posts, we seem to have mislaid ten years somewhere, but hey, we're old, it happens. I'll check under the fridge, thats where most things turn up eventually.

Welcome to the 2020 blog.

The tale of Hexagonal Jack - and so it begins

The Tale of Hexagonal Jack

This is the tale of Hexagonal Jack
He went to sea and he never came back
He sailed to the rim of the world and back
With the crew of the ‘Fishermans Pi’

Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
He went to sea but he never came back
Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
And the curse of the Fishermans Pi

So pull away my hearty lads
For Bervie’s dry and its closed
But a passage lies before us
To kebab shops in Montrose

And sure and true, a moonlit path
Beckons them out ahead
And the Fishermans Pi slips port and flies
With beer in the sails and kebabs ahead

Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
He went to sea but he never came back
Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
And the curse of the Fishermans Pi

So hoist the tops’l, Haul the yard
Shah’s Palace calls us home
Our path is lit
But our driver’s shit
The saints only know where were goin’
But Hexagonal Jack and the Fishermans Pi
Will blunt the sharpest of seas
For a large kebab with salad and sauce
And a portion of mushy peas

With Unidirectional Mike at the helm
Their path was straight and it was true
But the shining paths curved and Pi never swerved
…Glances exchanged by the crew

Six days and six nights alone at the prow
Was the watch of Hexagonal Jack
Farmer Suticle helped
With the timely provision
Of magical herbs from his sack

Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
He went to sea but he never came back
Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
And the curse of the Fishermans Pi

A tattered sail looms from the mist
Bad Penny cries ‘Avast !’
A blood stained deck of warrior maids
Fair and grim to the last

And the wind fell dead and the seas lay slick
And the crew of the Fisherman’s Pi
Sent Totally Frank and Infectious Dick
To Parlay, to trade or to die

Six hours they passed and the only sounds
To be heard were the birds and the shades
And the grunts of old Infectious Dick
As he made sweet love with the maids

Ive got us smokes Ive got us food
But those warrior maidens were mad
Wed better get going while the going is good
And before the itching gets bad

So hoist the tops’l, Haul the yard
Shah’s Palace calls us home
Our path is lit
But our driver’s shit
And the saints only know where were goin’
Hexagonal Jack and the Fishermans Pi
Will blunt the sharpest seas
For a large kebab with salad and sauce
And a portion of mushy peas

Inflated Bill stood before the crew
Having studied the ice bergs and frost
‘I know what you think and I know what is true’
And the truth is we are lost

‘I see it now’ roared Hexagonal Jack
In his eyes a hexagonal glow
We must summon to us Deep Walter
From the murky tangle below

Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
He went to sea but he never came back
Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
And the curse of the Fishermans Pi

The tallow dripped and the poultry bled
On the deck of the Fishermans Pi
Deep Walter emerged from the briny depths
With a truly terrible cry

‘Who breaks my sleep to seek my aid ?’
For one amongst you must die
I demand the soul of Weatherproof Mac
To save the Fishermans Pi

Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
He went to sea but he never came back
Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
And the curse of the Fishermans Pi

So the sails of the Fishermans Pi were filled
With Deep Walters terrible roar
But Weatherproof Mack had slipped overboard
And was rowing like fuck for the shore

Deep Walter towered above them all
‘For this you will all surely pay
I curse this crew to sail the seas
Til the dusk on Judgement day’

So hoist the tops’l, Haul the yard
Deep Walter binds us roam
These terrible seas for eternity
Til the Saints can call us home
Hexagonal Jack and the Fishermans Pi
Will carve the endless seas
Til the end of time’s upon us
And we feel the angels breeze

Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
He went to sea but he never came back
Wo Ho Hexagonal Jack
And the curse of the Fishermans Pi

One Flu Over The Hoodoo Nest

Unfortunately the lurgy? lurgie? (How the hell do you spell that? I think its a made up word so I can spell it any durn way I like it (Durn is also a made up word and is included in this weeks Blogword Bingo, even if it does smack of Calamity Jane and the Deadwood Stage...you know..."Whip Crack Away" and all that. Possibly a song about drug misuse by a lonely Dominatrix... or, then again, possibly not,)) I must apologise for getting over parenthetical here, but Im in the age bracket for it...bracket?...see what I did? I dont know whay I bother...half the time I end up boring myself.
Anyway, being a of the male, 'arrow up', persuasion, I have decided that I'm going to spell it 'flu'.

This virulent strain of Hoodoo Flu has, as they say in football circles, "devastated the squad". Having finally decided to record some stuff, we all turned up on Sunday Afternoon ready to go... ready to go home for a bit of a lie down. Apart from Freak, who was bouncing around like an annoyingly un-ill person, the rest of us shuffled around like depressed musical monks with bad chests. We did manage to get something down apart from beer, so thats a start. New songs are a-coming! Now where's my lemsip....

Aha! (but not in an Abba way)

Oh lookout! The daft buggers have given me the keys to the blog...

Now, I know that these things are not to be abused and should instead reflect the more pensive, thoughtful aspects of ones personality and impart some useful information, whilst all the time giving the reader something to think about - Aye right, shining bright! How about a wee bit of whats happening and then some ramblings...as the name of the blog would suggest?

Whats happening then?...short version...lots of stuff. We have been working on some new songs, all of which are awesome.
Really...
Yup... I mean it.
Seriously ...if you like them half as much as we do then you'll be twice as likely to be wholly impressed...or something like that. The plan is to get these recorded at some point soon and then ...world domination. We may even go for a galactic festival or two next year...I mean, have you seen some of the wishy, washy, whiny stuff that some bands are getting away with these days - you know the kind of stuff - mobile phone advert music. Anyway, therell be none of that from us. Unless they bring out a phone for which 'Some People' would seem to be a suitable TV advert tune; cant see it myself. I keep losing my phone anyway, so I am naturally predisposed against plinky plonky musical nursery rhymes that tell me how the world is a brighter, fluffier and more sparkly, fun place when the whole world has the ability to poke your tweets 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 12 months of the bleeding year. Gie's peace man! Sorry - narrowly avoided a rant there - I just managed to wrench the wheel round at the last moment and turn it into more of a verbal swerve than a motorway pile-up. In any event, Freak, the G-man and Ken's finely tuned musical ears won't let such stuff through the HZfilters, so we are probably safe enough!

Gigs may be coming soon, but we are focussing on getting stuff recorded. Ok, admittedly the word 'focussing' may be a bit too strong a description, but the songs are there and it has definitely gone beyond 'considering' and is probably at the stage of 'planning to' or 'being just about to'...

Here's a thing...have you noticed how folk on TV always ask "How do you feel?" nowadays?
Watch out for it and observe how they try to turn every news story into an emotional, rather than a factual event. "So Mr McGlumpher, your dog ran in front of your wife's car and she swerved into your only son and now your entire family and your pet is dead. How does that make you feel Mr McGlumpher?" (Bear with me, this does lead to something...)

Anyway, leaving aside the annual onset of seasonal affective disorder, here's how I feel, (I told you there was a point to the last bit...)...Recent practices have proved to be an inspiration for me; having spent the last 6 months learning a large part of the back catalogue of songs, we are now doing some new stuff...and its great to feel a part, admittedly a small part, of the creative 'thang'. The sad reality is that no-one listens to the bass player anyway..."just drink your beer and play the root notes 'til its time to stop..." Of course, none of this is true; we are a democratic musical collective within which the inspirations and ideas of every member are all given equal value. Thats what they told me to write. I hope I got it right; maybe theyll let me have two cans of beer at the next practice.
Soon.
HoodooStu

Four men, a techno monkey, and lashings of ginger beer.

Well what can I say.

Greetings to all, from M, the resident Techno Monkey.

Saturdays comeback gig at the Harbour Bar was Epic!

A big thankyou to everyone who begged, borrowed and stole transport and crashing space for the night to get to see the guys play. The pub was crammed, the music was awesome, the atmosphere was amazing and a liberal amount of ginger beer flowed.
(Actually I could have done with a little less ginger beer, dancing in an over-enthusiastic manner under the influence has left me sporadically lurching around like John Cleese, but as this is my second partying induced injury and the first was embarrassingly caused by dancing drunkenly to KYLIE I can at least claim this one was a bit more rock and roll. Erm, if anyone quotes me on that by the way I will deny it.)
The evening was a total success and as comeback gigs go, I don't think we could have asked for anything more.

Polk rock is back :) And it's about time! Watch out for more gigs in the pipeline, details will go up on the website and on facebook as soon as we have confirmed dates.
Also, as those of you who made it to the gig will know, we now have band tshirts available, small and medium skinny fit ladies and medium and large standard tshirts, all with front and back print. £10 plus postage If anyone wants one. Drop us a line and we'll make sure you get one :)

Can't wait for the next night of HZ stupidness, hope to see you all there!

Oh, before I go... a few special thankyou's are in order I believe.
Firstly to Our Beloved Bop, for being drunk enough to treat us to a repeat performance of her 'mock line dancing' routine during Cowboy Song. I'm glad to say that even though Zephyr were collectively wetting themselves laughing at her they still managed to play the song through successfully. (No mean feat, all I had to do was drink my beer and I nearly spat that on the floor when she stole Geoffs hat and 'got down' in a 'country stylee'. )
She's regretting it already, mainly due to the fact that we're expecting her to do it every time now, but that's the price you pay for being just a bit too entertaining.

Also thanks to Roy and the Notts crew for doing an almost 900 mile round trip and helping us out with the tshirt production. Hats off to you guys for dedication to the cause :) and to April, for not falling into a bush, and to everyone else who kept the cd's and spread the word and appeared out of the woodwork at the first sign of a Zephyr gig. Kudos!

Right. I'm off to poke Freak with a spoon and torture him into agreeing to write a regular blog for you guys to follow, wish me luck :)